Mottai Thatha: Hostile Take Over

Prologue: The Mottai Thatha series follows the daily life of Mottai Thatha or MT for short, as he uses his infinite wisdom to solve problems of his family, neighbors, milkman and most importantly his eight year old grandson Chari. Pankajam, is MT’s wife, Kiccha is Chari’s elder brother, Lalitha is Chari’s mom, Thiruvengadam, Chari’s father and Lakshmi, Chari’s elder sister.

“This is a tough situation, but I am sure with enough planning we should prevail” MT said. He was not walking in his usual style, he was pensive. Head bent down looking at his feet as he thought hard about the situation at hand.

“Thatha, Patti warned me not tell you about the elections. She kept repeating that any idea of yours is bound to get me into trouble. After all I am not really interested in the whole thing; I am in it just because of my friends. They don’t want Gundu Mani as class monitor again. The only reason I got thrown into the whole thing was because all my friends volunteered me!” Chari was visibly agitated. Frustrated even. He had his niche in the class, way back in the last bench. Away from the roving eyes of the teachers, ridicule and taunt of his classmates and mostly very far away from the monitor, Gundu Mani’s seat.

“It is unlike our family to cower in the face of pressure” MT said, pumping his fist in the air for effect. “We will face it together and I am going to manage your campaign personally to make sure you get elected as class monitor. When I was your age I was the class monitor and so was your dad! This is no longer a question of you or Gundu Mani. Now the honor and tradition of your family is at stake” Chari groaned loudly at the thought of his Thatha’s intervention and his schemes. His troubles had just doubled. He had to face Gundu Mani with the benefit of his dear Thatha’s ideas, ideas he could gladly do without. But then life is never about choices.

“Do you know what GM (Gundu Mani) told me today during lunch?” questioned Chari. MT wasn’t even paying attention. He was lost in his schemes, he replied “Uh huh.” “He came over to me in the canteen and didn’t say anything, he just stared at me for a long time” said a much worried Chari. “That doesn’t sound too bad” replied MT, “maybe he just wanted to take a good look at the next class monitor” laughing loudly he slapped Chari on his back. Chari stopped in his tracks, took MT’s forearm in his hand and shook it hard and said “Thatha, the last time he did that, it was to Balaji. Do you know what happened then?”. “No! How am I supposed to know that?”

“Balaji disappeared and did not come to school for a whole week! Even when he came back it took a month before he would utter a single word. That was for just laughing at GM when he fell down in the playground”. MT waved Chari off “Chari, as usual you are exaggerating. Balaji must have come down with flu or something.” Chari was hysterically muttering to himself “Must convince Mom to put me in another school before the elections take place”.

MT bent down until he was face to face with Chari and held him by both shoulders and said “Chari look at me and answer me truthfully.” He drew a blank stare from Chari. A couple of shakes brought out a stifled “Yes.”

“Tell me that you don’t want to be the most powerful kid in the whole section! You and your friends will be wildly popular once you become the monitor. All those girls who used to give their lunches to GM will line up and spoon feed you. The teachers will now confide with you and ask you whom to give black stars to and who get the gold stars in class” MT’s voice was now rising in a steady crescendo. “You will get to stand first in the line during prayer, you can come and go out of class as you please, and you get to pick teams for football during sports hour. It will be all about you, you and just you!” By the time MT finished this little speech he was squeezing Chari’s shoulders really hard, but Chari was too dazed from the speech to notice. He now had a glint in his eyes. Was it hope? Hope that he will win the elections or maybe hope that GM won’t do to him whatever it was that he did to Balaji? Or maybe it was the seed of all things that put events in life into motion, desire. A thought about what his Thatha had just told him, the possibilities. For the n^th time Chari was hooked into MT’s ideas.

“It does sound good” Chari said, his voice trailing off, still dreaming about MT’s little speech. “Chari, you are my grandson. This is not just a good idea, but it is your destiny. Family my boy, Family. It runs in it”

“So you say that I will this anyways because of the family legacy?” questioned Chari. MT let out a big sigh. “Now if it were only that simple. I would like to believe that all those wrong genes from your mother’s side has diluted what was in your father and me.”

“What do you mean?” “I mean that you should, could win. But it is going to take some effort.”

MT stood back from Chari and took one good look and then began “Let’s see you do some of your father’s and grandfather’s good looks, we can always work on your charm factor. Now if we can get hold of a good barber to give you a proper haircut that should guarantee the ladies vote. Since I have taken up your campaign, I can take care of the cash flow. Sufficient number of chocolates, ice cream and samosas from the canteen distributed should take care of most of the boys vote. We can always donate your cricket bat to the sports team and that should take care of the jock vote.”

“My bat! My kit!” exclaimed Chari.

“Sacrifices have to be made my boy. An election is no joke. Don’t worry you will get more than your kit back once you become the class monitor.” MT continued “I know that there is that religious Iyer clique in your class. How many non Hindus are there in your class?”

“One parsi guy and Rahul, he is a Christian. Why do you ask?” questioned Chari.

“Then you should start wearing vibuthi to school from tomorrow. I think that clique’s vote should pretty much corner the post!”

“Thatha, something tells me you are not being serious about the whole thing. How will me combing my hair, spending money on my classmates and giving away my cricket kit help? I mean the vibuthi I can understand. If I pray to god and wear vibuthi he will help me out. Right?”

“Wrong” came the reply. MT shook his head “Silly boy you know nothing!”

“Thatha you know nothing. My civics teacher said that to win the election I need to make a manifesto and a poster on what I will do for the class once I become the monitor. I need to work on it, GM has a simple manifesto, vote for him and he will not beat you for rest of the year. What do I have to offer?”

“Manifesto – shmanifesto!” MT wagged a finger infront of Chari’s face. “Your civics teacher knows nothing. To win an election first you need to have good hair, lots of charm, lots more money and finally some vibuthi, in that order is all you need to win it.”

Chari was scratching his head “Thatha you don’t understand. Without the manifesto my teacher said I cannot participate in the election. Originally I was hoping you would help with that. That was the whole reason why I told you about the stupid elections. Now you wont help me with that!” Chari’s face was downcast.

“Well, that being the case we will make a manifesto for you” MT stopped walking for a second, thought and then continued “Remember this list. A vote for you means two hours of sports three times a week, once week run of Tom and Jerry in the AV room, reduced price chocolates and samosas in the canteen, special bodyguards for the protection of the weaker sections of the class. That should do it?”

Chari gave MT a quizzical look “Thatha why are you making fun of me. I can’t do all that. Not even GM can do all that. I am sure you must bunked civics class in school. My teacher said that my manifesto should say how I will set a strict moral example for the class.”

“Hold it right there for a second.” MT looked away from his feet and at Chari’s face “Do you like Sailesh?”

“Why ask about him?”

“Just tell me, do you like him or not?”

“Of course not. Nobody likes him. He is always so goody goody. Cozying up to the teachers.”

MT then gestured with his palms facing skywards “There, you have your answer. Nobody likes or wants someone who sets a moral example. That will never get you elected”

“But that doesn’t change the fact that I cannot do any of those things that you asked me to put on my manifesto” said a confused Chari.

“Chari what would you say if I told you that I have bought the game you wanted so badly and it is waiting for you in the house?”

Chari beamed for a moment “Really? I would say you’re the best Thatha in the whole wide world” and went in to hug his Thatha.

“Hold it for a second” said MT “What if you went home and found I just lied to you?”

Chari held back from the hug and said “I would be sad. You are just being mean to me now”

“But you just voted me the best Grandpa in the whole world. Once elected you can’t take it back, you get your gift or not! Think about that!”

Chari was still hurting about the missed game. He was also considering MT’s words. Both walked in silence now. MT was happy with himself for giving Chari a life’s lesson and Chari thinking about the whole conversation in retrospect.

So they walked on till they were less than 2 minutes away from their house. Then Chari spoke “You know Thatha. I have been thinking about it the whole while. Actually GM isn’t such a bad kid after all. His bullying apart he is infact a good monitor. He always splits the football teams fairly and never rats us out to the teacher. Everybody in the class is scared of him and so everyone behaves just to humor him.”

“Aiyo!” cried out MT slapping his forehead “You know you are beyond hope. You know at the end of the day it doesn’t matter. You do realize that votes will be counted by Ramachandran, your Math teacher. We were classmates and close friends since kindergarten. I am sure he won’t mind me hanging out at his place when the votes are counted. So rest assured you are destined to win, even if I have slip in some extra votes for you.”